Tough Guise

MY BEST TOUGH GUY: RONALD RUCKER (with my cousin on Christmas Eve)

As far back as I can remember, I don't think I have ever seen my father cry. My brother, sure, he is driven by his emotions, but my dad, I don't think I've seen one tear. Through deaths and crises, he has been the strong one in my family. But he has been through a lot as well. He lost his father and most recently his eldest sister. So I wonder who he cries to when he feels weak or if he ever feels weak. Do I think my dad puts up a front around us? Absolutely not. That's just the way he was raised by my grandfather, to not show emotion. But why is that so wrong for men? Women are always portrayed to be emotional creatures, but why not men? In part, I think it is a good thing for men to hold back in their feelings because they are most often the strong ones in a family. If both the man and the woman are dealing with PMS and their feelings all of the time, nothing will be accomplished. But when it comes to a point where they are holding in anger, guilt, or depression, then that is dangerous to themselves and to others. Because sooner or later, all of that suppressed emotion will explode and more often than not, not in a positive way. This leads to the misconception that gender issues are solely women's issues. Since men are supposed to be the strong, silent members of society, they are not meant to have their issues broadcast to others. They are just supposed to deal with it. So when women want a man to open up about their feelings, it is just a big misunderstanding of what is "appropriate" for a man to share. Men in the media are always portrayed as ripped, with 6-12 packs of abs, and just all around flawless. That is for lack of a better term, bullcrap!! Seeing men with perfect skin, perfect physiques have a detrimental effect on boys and men. If a man doesn't believe that he is one of the standards, he will do whatever it takes to make up for it, including abusing steroids, which ultimately hurt the man, rather than help him. Chris Godsey, in Beauty Outlaws admits that his standards are "constantly shifting" about his own body image and he is constantly comparing himself to his friends, very similar to a woman. I think the media inspires the change in society. The media is a big mass of people who think they know what the standard is or should be. And I think that no matter how anyone tries, we are all susceptible to it, from the smallest infomercial about making your hair have more volume, to the biggest drug corporations, with their ads that you could lose weight in a snap and become perfect. We are all prey to it, but it is absolutely necessary for us to rise above the pressure, and seek our own thoughts on what is beautiful on the outside as well as on the inside, in both men and women.